...Before you die...

So as a follow up to the last blog that I posted about horror movies, I wanted to talk about the only horror movie that has ever really gotten to me. The one that just really got under my skin and fucked with my head in a way that it really turned me into a quivering mass of jelly.
I am actually embarrassed to admit that the one movie that reduced me to such a sad state was The Ring.
Now I want you guys to understand that I am not saying that no other horror movie has ever scared me. The Shinning, The Exorcist, Poltergeist, even The Blair Witch Project scared me the first time I saw it. But the difference between how those movies affected me compared with how The Ring affected me was in the way that for about 2 or 3 weeks after seeing The Ring I had what could only be described as a kind of panic disorder. I couldn’t be in a room with a TV in it. If the TV was turned off I was paranoid that it would turn on by itself, if it was on I was afraid of going past a channel with static.
But let’s start from the beginning.
Now I was about 16 or 17 when the movie first came out, and I was really full of myself when it came to horror movies. I loved them but I felt that there was nothing that I couldn’t handle.
Cut to the moment the movie was over and I stepped out of the theater with the friends I was with.
All I kept saying was that I needed a cup of tea. I don’t usually drink tea, but at that moment tea was the only thing with the comfort level I needed to actually calm down.
Now I don’t want my previously stated temporary aversion to televisions make you think that it was the concept of this film that got me. I realize the completely laughable nature of a story about a haunted nature of a story about a haunted video tale that contains a killer ghost. The premise itself is admittedly pretty fucking dumb. It was purely the images that were shown in the film that somehow put a crack in my already fragile psyche, and when I say put a crack I mean full blown scary movie fever. I had to sleep in bed with my mother for the first three days after. I couldn’t talk about it in any detail without being reduced to tears. And I am serious here; I am not exaggerating any of this. If anything I am downplaying it. As I have previously stated this is all kind of embarrassing, but I really thought that this was an important topic to touch on given my previous blog, the season, and how my next few blogs will all probably be touching on the horror genre.
But I digress.
How this relates to my last blog is that in my attempt to find something new and exciting in the horror universe, I had been spending afternoons wandering the aisles of my local Blockbuster Video. That’s when I stumbled upon a copy of The Ring on sale for $12.99. I thought to myself “This is perfect! This movie really scared me. I’ve only seen it twice, and haven’t seen it in at least 5 years. I’ll get it!”
Then I Stood there, thinking, remembering. Did I really want to open this door again? Should I risk it?
“Nah, that’s stupid. I am just building it up in my head. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
But what if it was? What if I watch it then can’t sleep for weeks?
“Maybe it’s better if I don’t risk it.”
And so I didn’t buy it.
Then I really started thinking about it, and feeling kinda bad about myself. Why did this movie scare me? How could I let a movie have such an emotional hold on me that I was afraid to watch it? Movies were supposed to be my friends, not my enemies.
As I said before, it was the images in the film. There was something wrong with them. So I started thinking about that concept. Could an image or series of images be enough to seriously bruise the mind? And if so, what was it about the images in this horror movie above and beyond any other I have seen? During my weeks of sleeplessness after I first saw this movie I couldn’t get the image of the movie’s first victim’s face out of my mind. That shriveled, terrifying face, mouth agape, huddled in the closet. You only see it for half a moment, but it remained branded in my mind for months. In my defense, even make-up effects god, Rick Baker, who built the damn dummy admitted it freaked him out so much that he wouldn’t get in the closet with it, so at least I am in good company.
So in conclusion…
I’ve watched hordes of zombies eating people alive, vampires ripping out people’s throats, I’ve seen heads explode, Freddy Kruger, in giant worm form, half swallow Patricia Arquette, a man’s chests burst open to expose enormous gnashing teeth, my point is a lot of crazy shit, but nothing else I’ve seen has ever fucked with my brain even remotely as much as what is shown in The Ring. Maybe it’s just that violence doesn’t get me as much as things that seem unnatural, disturbing, like a Tool video on acid.
Sorry folks this blog has gone too far into the realm of personal psychoanalytical theory.
The point is, I still have not watched The Ring again and it upsets me that I can’t seem to overcome the fear I have of it. Something about it got to me…and still has me.

I'm Back Baby!

Yeah yeah yeah I know I haven't blogged since the beginning of time and all. A lot has been going on, I lost a job, I got a new job which I may get more into at another time. But at this point I really just want to jump directly back into things. So it’s getting close to the Halloween season and just like every year around this time I am in the mood for horror movies, and I sure as hell have been watching a lot of them lately. In the past week I have gone through almost everything I have in my collection, from Return of the Living Dead to The Crazies to The House on Haunted Hill. The original Vincent Price version that is, not that Ali Larter abortion. Ok, maybe that is a little harsh, I did like Geoffrey Rush in that movie but maybe I resent the fact that Ali Larter didn’t die a horrific Jeffrey Combs related surgical saw death like I was hoping. Did I mention that I hate Ali Larter…anyway. And of course my Netflix subscription has been pitching in, offering up a wide stretching variety of horror including In The Mouth Of Madness , Black Sunday, and Nightmare On Elm Street Part 6: Freddy’s Dead which was a childhood favorite of mine. This avalanche of the good, the bad, and the ugly of horror movies has only made me hungry for more!
Now, the Netflix is good for hard to find stuff but of course my two at a time subscription plus the 2 to 3 day wait between rentals was just not enough to quench my thirst, so I went to my auxiliaries. With the help of the Lyndhurst Public Library and my local Blockbuster Video I have been enjoying a non-stop horror smorgasbord. Now you might say that I am kind of a goon for renting movies from the library, but I am telling you they have a surprisingly wide and wonderful collection of movies and though you can only keep them for 2 days at a time, they are free and I would be a fool not to take advantage.
But yesterday I was still thirsty for blood and the library didn’t have anything I haven’t already seen. I was looking for a new exciting never before seen horror movie adventure, so I made my way to Blockbuster. Now I wish I could end this story with me finding some glorious Holy Grail of horror, but I didn’t. I couldn’t find anything worth renting. Not a single thing worth spending five bucks on. At one point while I was there some Blockbuster operative asked me if I needed any help. I told him that I was just browsing.
Then I started thinking about it and I did need help but I don’t think that anyone that worked there could actually help me. I mean what could I say? “Well I have seen everything and I am terribly jaded and desensitized, recommend me a horror movie damn it!”
Ok so maybe I haven’t seen EVERYTHING, but as it pertains to the Blockbuster inventory, I have seen everything.
If anyone has any decent recommendations please pass them along. Until then I will just continue watching John Carpenter’s The Thing on an endless loop until I come up with something.